And She Hates His Face on Glossy Paper
by Elizabeth Allen
Summary: Kakashi has been coerced into an interview with a teen magazine. Sakura's a little insecure. Kakasaku. Oneshot.


Yay, Kakasaku! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

_After a troublesome time trying to persuade the one- the only Copy Ninja , Hatake Kakashi, for an interview, I, Muraoka Fujita, have succeeded into getting him to open up to your burning questions._

Sakura snorted. She knew first hand what kind of troublesome this Fujita woman was talking about. It had taken the magazine months to get their precious interview with Kakashi, and more than once, they'd attempted to bribe Sakura into helping.

She didn't though, for fear that some woman or girl or whatever would try and make a move on her crush. She'd been infatuated with her ex teacher for years now, and at the ripe age of twenty three, was no closer to him than she had been at twelve. Of course, they were friends at the least, and while out with Ino every now and then, she'd run into him at a bar. He'd be drinking with all the older jounin, all their old teachers, and Ino would drag her over to say hi to everyone.

It seemed Ino was convinced she would be the one to tie Genma down.

Rolling her eyes and suppressing another snort, Sakura looked down at the magazine again.

_Fujita: Good afternoon, Hatake-sama._

_Kakashi: Sama?_

_Fujita: (laughing) You are the famous _(or infamous?) _Copy Ninja, are you not?_

_Kakashi: I believe the deal was ten questions; I'm not sure you want to waste one on something you and your readers can answer._

_Fujita: All business, now, aren't we? Don't answer that. I just mean to say it's sexy. Moving on… do you have a girlfriend?_

_Kakashi: No._

_Fujita: A love interest?_

_Kakashi: I'm not going to answer that, so I'll let that one slide. _

_Fujita: Sure. Do you eat?_

_Kakashi: No, I'm a humanoid who lives off the energy of my fallen victims._

At this Sakura laughed. She could hear Kakashi responding in his lazy tone, so completely bored by this interview. He'd be hiding his anxiousness, knowing it'd somehow make it into the magazine as him being more like a cuddly bear than a deadly ninja. He had an image to uphold, and this very passive one, this very arrogant one that he was demonstrating to anyone who was reading the interview she could bet was surely to chase off any females that thought to approach him much in the way they approached Sasuke to this day.

Kakashi didn't want fangirls.

_Fujita: Hatake-sama, you have such a sense of humor. So, what is behind that mask of yours?_

_Kakashi: My face._

_Fujita: (laughing) Right. Of course. Who have you shown your face to?_

_Kakashi: I'm pretty sure my mother knew what I looked like beneath it._

_Fujita: What's your favorite ninja technique?_

_Kakashi: Well, there are lots of "ninja" techniques. More importantly, there are several forms of "ninja" techniques. I don't really have a favorite._

_Fujita: Thanks for clearing up our ignorant minds, Hatake-sama. Do you live alone in a house?_

_Kakashi: No. I live alone in an apartment._

_Fujita: But why don't you buy a house? You live off a jounin's salary, after all. That would be more than enough._

_Kakashi: I'm saving it._

_Fujita: Oooh, for what?_

_Kakashi: For people who are important to me._

_Fujita: And what is your favorite volume of Icha Icha?_

_Kakashi: Oh, that's easy. Icha Icha Paradise number one._

_Fujita: I have one more question don't I?_

_Kakashi: (nodding)_

_Fujita: Hm, have you ever used your Sharingan for nonviolent purposes?_

_Kakashi: No comment._

_Fujita: Well, thank you very much for all your time, Hatake-sama._

_Kakashi: Sure, no pr-_

"Hm, since when have you been reading _Teen Konoha_?"

Sakura jumped with a yelp. The magazine flew out of her hands and onto the floor below her as she clutched onto the arm of her sofa.

"Mind telling me what you're doing on my window sill first?" she asked Kakashi furiously.

"I asked you first. Why are you reading that magazine?" He walked over to it and inspected the cover. They'd stolen the picture he'd taken for ninja encyclopedic purposes. He was smiling, though one could only tell by his crinkled eye, and his arms were crossed in front of his chest. The cover read "AN INTERVIEW WITH HATAKE KAKASHI! PAGE 81" above a smaller "Uchiha Sasuke in the shower? WE'VE GOT PICS!" He supposed that those would courtesy of Naruto whose recent mission was to strip the dignity from his longtime rival by advertising him to every female he possibly could.

Sakura regained her composure, put her nose in the air, and replied indignantly, "I always read _Teen Konoha_."

"Of course, that's why there are copies strewn all over your apartment," he said sarcastically, picking the book up like dirty underwear and dropping it on Sakura's lap. "And it's only obvious you're still a teenager."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Your turn; why are you here?"

"Not so fast; I'm not done yet. You avoided my question again. Why are you reading this month's _Teen Konoha_, Sakura?" He was talking to her as if she were an idiot child. How infuriating!

"I'm not twelve years old anymore, Kakashi. You can talk to me like an adult," she grumbled, looking away from his eye to the open window. A springtime breeze was blowing, the night air smelling sweet to her nose. From her cozy apartment near the heart of Konoha, the sounds of a festival could be heard.

"I would… if you acted like one…"

"I'm acting like a fine adult. Sue me for being curious!" She grabbed the magazine and stopped over to the bathroom a little ways away from the living room where the couch was. The dim light of the lamp that she'd been reading under barely carried over to the room she was currently in. Shredding the glossy paper, she flushed everything down the toilet, the sound of gushing water filling the apartment and masking the festival sounds.

"Curious?" he asked, watching her walk to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator.

"I don't recall stuttering," her bitter voice carried to his ears.

"Did you think I'd tell them something I wouldn't tell you?" She was silent, confirming what he had figured was wrong with her. Instead of calling her stupid or foolish or even denying that what she wondered would be true, he laughed at her.

"What's so funny?" She stared at him. He was clutching his stomach and wiping his visible eye with his finger.

"Because that… that would be… ridiculous," he managed, only to fall victim to a renewed bout of laughter.

She pouted and stormed into her room, slamming the door. Kakashi stopped laughing at once. He walked up to the door and knocked.

"Sakura?"

"Go away, _Hatake-sama_," she mocked. Her voice had come from the floor, so he crouched down and put his head as close to her as he could get with the solid barrier between them.

"Look, Sakura, I know you might have been scared that I would tell them something, but it really is preposterous that I would let this entire village know a secret before I told people I truly trusted first. I just thought you would realize that. You're the first person I'm actually associated with who I've seen with that trash."

"So? You hurt my feelings. You didn't have to be mean about it. Can you blame me for being a little insecure?"

"Hmm, yes…"

"WHAT?" It was _not_ her fault that she was scared. Her fears were perfectly understandable, and he was being a total asshole about it.

"You didn't let me finish. Yes, I can blame you, because for as long as I've known you, I've known you to be one of the smartest, most practical people I've ever met," he went on.

And though she was a little mad at the fact that he was accusing her of being insecure for no reason, she liked that he hadn't called her a student or a girl. He'd called her a person. She would have liked woman better, but being a person to him didn't suck that much, did it?

"Of course, you can get pretty out of hand when it comes time to face your fears, and that goes doubly when it concerns a _boy_. 'There something you want to tell me, Sakura?"

She gulped. Well, duh, he's only one the smartest shinobi in the history of ever. Nothing was going to get passed him, least of all her little secret. There was always playing dumb though.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied.

He sighed. "I guess you don't want to go to the festival with me then?" He waited, counting down for her resolve to break.

The door opened slowly, and she looked up at his now standing form.

"Festival?" she asked innocently.

"Let's go." He offered her his hand, and she took it, with a nervous smile.

"Well, now that you mention it, there is something I'd like to _give_ you, if that's alright..." Her eyes were hopeful, and in her heart, she could feel her bravery swell.

"What would that be?"

And before there was enough time to think of an answer, Sakura tiptoed up to him gave him a light peck on his mask where his mouth would be. The visible skin of his face reddened, and she herself was no paler.

She held a hand to her lips, her eyes obviously glazed with the many images of girlish fantasies. She shook herself awake and gave him a sweet smile.

"I want a goldfish!" she exclaimed, and took off out of the window.

He watched after her, a dumb smile playing at his lips. Sometimes teen magazines weren't so useless after all.


End file.
